My Utmost For The Most High

It has been ten years since I and 97 others graduated from highschool. The batch's motto was "My Utmost For The Most High". This was actually derived from a daily devotional book with the title "My Utmost For His Highest". But the nuns at our school had grammatical issues with it, and so we changed it appropriately.

I was part of the committee incharge of creating the batch song. I don't actually remember if I did contribute at least a line or two and a few notes and chords. But full credit is given to Pia and Chinggay for the music and lyrics. I did play the guitar while the batch sang our song on graduation day, though.

Here's the song:

Lord, look upon me
Embrace me with Your love
Grant that people see
That You are in me, beside me

Lord, I am Your handmaid
Your words are in my heart
You have called me by my name
How can I turn away, turn away

Chorus:
So I offer You my life
All the treasured things my heart can hold
I hand to You
So guide me through Your way
Let me walk the path that leads to You
Leaving all behind
My gift to You will be the very best of me
My days will be a witness to Your love
My utmost for the Father who uplifts me
My everything I give for the Most High

Take my thanksgiving
For all that You have been
My strength, my light, my friend
From life's wounds, You've healed me

I fear not what will be
As I bid farewell to friends
As I travel my own road
Knowing I have You with me

I remember while I was playing the guitar, midway through the song, I was already crying. I can't seem to imagine that I'd be parting with people I spent 11 years with, with friends I practically grew up with.

As I look at my life now, I still would like to believe that I have been living my life the way I dreamt of living it, the way 98 of us sang it - that is, being a witness to God's love - though I know that my life is not as perfect as His love for me is.

For those who know me and what I went through, this was how I learned to live again. And this is what I live for now.

And while I'm on reminiscing still, here are some pictures from highschool.





Left to Right:
Picture 1 - First year, summer with Mia, Donna, and Chermaine (not in picture) at Aling Pining's in Sikatuna, Quezon City
Picture 2 - Third year, manning our booth with Katre, Mia, and Donna during our School Fair
Picture 3 - Third year, breaktime during our last Retreat in Antipolo
Picture 4 - Fourth year, highschool barkada after CAT

Birthday Blues

It's early in my birthday today, and already there's so much in my mind...

• It's my birthday. My time and place of convenience this time.



• You have to give a more acceptable reason.



• Do I have to attend the meeting?



• Bad resolution: I will miss some occassions this year... just to see how it feels.



• Traffic in Metro Manila is the worst kind (especially when you're seated beside someone who just doesn't stop complaining about it). Cool it, Miss! We're all stuck here.



• I'm 28.



• More power = greater responsibility. I'd say, more accountability as well. Reality bites!



• I need to relax... I need to pray, bring back the passion.

In Anticipation

There's a feeling of restlessness. I am hungry but can't eat well. Didn't get that much sleep last night.

I'm not sure whether this is caused by a project being finally launched on Sunday (which I won't be able to attend) or my trip to Singapore.

Either way, I like the feeling. At least, I am still capable of feeling this way... very much alive.

I Don't Like Today

I didn't know what to make of this day. It was one of those days that I wasn't doing much work but my mind is so active and my emotions so sensitive.

Just some of my thoughts and feelings today...

• My conversation with mama during breakfast brought me to this thought - If you accept that something not-so-good will happen, is that giving up?

• There's a possibility that my trip to Singapore will not push thru. Some friends tell me to go thru with it by myself. Do I do just that?

• I've become a stranger. Blame distance. But I'm not saying that I'm not starting to worry.

• While waiting for Tine and Toni at the Syke's pantry, 28th floor of RS, a group of guys went inside. One of them asked if I was watching the TV. I mistook this as 'Are you watching this channel?' When I said 'No', he turned the TV off. I ended up reading an English workbook and pretending not listening to their practice of 'Push' (which was a disaster, by the way).

• There are things that should be left unsaid. But there are also those that should be voiced, and should be listened to.

• Too much coffee intake today.

• A midnight stopover at Starbucks Julia Vargas made me witness a car accident. A car tried to make a 'drift'. Not having gone too far (not even 20 meters, i think), it slammed into the wall. The driver and the one in the passenger seat (the nephew of the city's councilor as he claims) are obviously drunk.
  

There. Just some.

Writings on the wall (and everywhere else...)

When I was still in UP, more than once had I found myself laughing or scratching my head whenever I see writings on wherever one can write on. I think I've even memorized some "conversations" so I can tell them to my UP and non-UP friends.

I got this from the email a few days ago. Made me wish I had written down some of those that I memorized and added them to this list.

Here goes... vandalism in UP.

AS Chair
"push button to eject seatmate"
"push button to eject urself"
"push button to kill teacher."
"push button to eject teacher"....
reply: "it's jammed! We're doomed!"

AS 1st floor CR
"if you forget the past, then you porget the purious.."

AS 1st floor CR ulit
"Im a simple gay "
tapos me sumagot "sira! Dapat 'Im simple and gay!' Taga peyups ka ba? duh!"
tapos me sumagot ulit (with matching arrow pa na nakaturo dun sa reply) "sira ka rin! yung simple is used as an adjective tapos yung gay is used asa noun. kaya ok lang yung simple gay nya!"

Bio Chair
"Push cadaver to haunt teacher."

FO Santos
"SA MGA NAGTATAPON NG BASURA DITO... bawal."

Eng'g
Sa Men's CR, facing the urinal:"Hawak ko saking mga kamay ang kinabukasan ng bayan!"
Reply: "the future you are holding is very small."

Math
sa cr sa may math building: "SUMAPI SA NPA!"
may sumagot: "PAANO? "
may sumagot pa: "MAGFILL UP NG COUPON AT IHULOG SA PINAKAMALAPIT NA DROP BOX SA SUKING TINDAHAN!"

sa likod ng isang "teacher's chair" sa 3rd floor:
"BABALA: asawa ni babalu"

3rd floor, sa isang upuan uli. "you'll NEVER find what you're looking for"
May nag-reply: "find x."

NIGS
sa isang upuan: "f*ck nigs!"
may nagreply: "who's nigs?"

Main Lib
Sa isang lamesa ng main lib, filipiniana section: "UP STUDENTS HAS BECOME PATETHIC"
tapos may sumagot..."mali pang grammar at spelling mo, halatang di ka taga UP"

New Site

I just finished copying my posts (not many, if I may say) from my other blog site to this one.

I'm back!

Wrong Car!

At around 8pm today, I got a text from Tine (my bestfriend). "Baba ka na.", it said.

That afternoon, we thought of having coffee before going home. We haven't actually decided where we're gonna have coffee.

Upon receiving her sms, I shut down my office PC, rode the elevator down to the building ground floor. As I was pushing the building exit door, a car was slowing down in front of the building. I was unsure if this was the car that I was supposed to ride in, so I slowed down too. But I heard Tine calling me and thought that her voice was coming from inside the car. So I hurried and opened the car's door. To my surprise (and embarrassment), the door was locked. Realizing that this was not the car, I slowly walked backwards, away from the car, praying that all those who were also waiting would not realize what just happened.

I looked across the street, to the parking lot. I saw Tine - in shock. I ran to her in embarrassment. Geez!